Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Post Game Interview I Want to See

At the end of tomorrow's Super Bowl, you can be sure that at least one player on the winning team will be praising God for the win. We know Kurt Warner will be the guy doing that on the Cardinals if they win. So, I have 2 questions for Mr. Warner:

1) Why does God like him so much more than he does the rest of us? You will be praising him for giving you the talent to win, yadda yadda yadda... Why does he love you enough to make you tall, strong and able to throw a football brilliantly and win 2 Super Bowls, and he made me a short fat ugly guy who dropped $20 in the pool at the bar? Does he hate me, because I sure got screwed on this deal. And what about those other guys who used to bag groceries with you when your career wasn't going anywhere when you were young....did God give them NFL caliber talent as well? If not, why not? This God guy doesn't sound very fair, certainly not someone I want to work for.

2) If the Cardinals lose, does that mean God was against you this time? This is what I want to hear Kurt Warner say if he loses tomorrow: "God screwed us today. He wasn't with us at all. He made Bodin pull his hammy in the first quarter, and gave the Steelers D more quickness than I could deal with. That's why I threw those 3 picks. It was God's fault. He really did us in, and I'm pissed."

That's what I want to hear: God take the fall for the losers. Based on the evidence, if there is a God, he sure as hell must hate a lot of people here on earth.

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