If I were a conspiracy theorist.....

Let me start by saying I have absolutely no proof that any of what I am about to write about is factual. That said, here a couple of conspiracies I cooked up on a 66KM bike ride this morning:

1)IRAN IS MANIPULATING THE OIL PRICE
Iran produces 4.1 million barrels of oil per day, which constitutes most of it's goverment's revenue. So, if you want to fill up the coffers, what better way than making it look like you are starting a war. Fire a few missiles into the Persian Gulf,and the price of oil jumps $5....that's $20 million extra a day, far less than the cost of a missile. Based on who is running Iran, I don't consider this to be such a far-fetched idea. I know what I would do with the power to move a market like that!

2) HEDGE FUNDS FINANCE TURMOIL IN OIL PRODUCING COUNTRIES
Say you are a hedge fund manager with a couple hundred billion dollars to look after. What would it cost to finance a raid on an oil facility in a place like Nigeria? $100K? How much could you make by going long a crapload of oil before the raid that you know will happen because you financed it? There is a movie screenplay in this idea, which I will probably never write, so feel free to steal this idea, write the screenplay, and get the movie made. Just get me a small part in the film.

3)OBAMA PAYED JESSE JACKSON TO DIS HIM!
Remember in 92 when Bill Clinton made some comment to distance himself from Jesse Jackson? I don't remember exactly what he did, and I'm too lazy to look it up, but I remember Clinton making some comment of that nature, which I was sure at the time was a shrewd political play (what are black people going to do....vote Republican?). Well, Obama has got to be worried that he scares some white people, particularly after all he crap with his preacher. So, why not get yourself offended by Jesse Jackson, a man who is about as popular with white people as George Bush is with Boulderites? Seems like a pretty good strategy to me, although if this was really the strategy, they would probably have also paid Al Sharpton to agree with Jesse, not defend Obama.

Hey, it was 90 degrees out there today. I gotta have something to do to take my mind off the pain!