Que hora es?

Did you take Spanish in High School? Did you do badly? Enjoy this hilarious video!

And another thing.....

One last item from my Tucscon trip: When we were golfing on Tuesday, my friend Art discovered a can in the garbage for a drink called "Chelada", that is made from Bud Light and Clamato. Wow, that's 2 great tastes brought together! They sell them in the bar there, so we had to try one after our round. I'm sorry to say it wasn't nearly as disgusting as it sounds.

Greeting from Tucson

Just spent a few days in Tucson with my 3 best friends from college, for some golf, baseball and camaraderie. I'd never been there before. Some observations:

• There is what appears to be a military aircraft grave yard in Tucson that is enormous. We drove past it on the way to play golf on Easter Sunday (and we arose from the dead a bit too early that morning to play!). We are talking about several square miles of old, decommissioned planes of all sizes. Why? There can't be any value to keeping them there. The value of the scrap metal, at today's commodity prices has to be billions.

• If you've never been to a Spring training baseball game, GO! The stadiums are small, the weather great, the people always happy and friendly. We caught 2 games in Tucson, and the 2 different parks there, Hy Corbett, where the Rockies play, and Tucson Electric where the D-backs and White Sox play. Sat close, enjoyed baseball, sun and beer. Makes you realize even George W. Bush can't ruin everything in this country.

• Saw Giants reserve outfielder hit one of the longest home runs I've ever seen in person, a shot to dead center off Micah Owings that cleared a 40 foot wall in dead center, over the 405 mark. That ball should have had a stewardess!

• Sign at the first tee at the golf course in Tucson: “Beware of snakes and other poisonous reptiles”. What, the tarantulas are OK?

• Golf, by the way, is the stupidest game ever invented!

• I strongly recommend Tucson Greyhound Park to anyone visiting the area. Certainly NOT touristy! In fact, there were more dogs then people there, and you can get a burrito made from the loser of the previous race.

• Finally, my friends and I laughed ourselves sick over a list of unusual sex acts we found on the internet after I mentioned the term "Cleveland Steamer" ( DON'T look it up!). Haven't laughed that hard in years. 4 guys in their fifties giggling like 8 year olds at this list of horribly disgusting things we found on the internet (thanks I-Phone!). And if anyone has ever had a "blumpkin" I would like to hear about it.Always great to hang out with the boys!

Fun with Lawyers!

Last weekend I did an acting gig for a large international law firm. My job was to portray 2 different characters, one on Friday, one on Sat. in mock trials. The firm was running a training session, and trying the same case with real lawyers, jurors, and actors as the witnesses. They were trying the same case in 8 different trials. It turned out to be great fun and quite interesting.

The case revolved around a lawsuit by a company that had suffered substantial termite damage, which their insurance company ( I have no idea if this was ever a real case, but I doubt it). My job was to portray an expert in termites in one of the trials on Friday, and the agent who sold the insurance policy for a different group of lawyers and jury on Saturday. Several weeks before the mock trials, I was sent a 200 page book with all the information.

I have never testified in a trial, so this was very interesting to me. The first thing I learned is that you have to meet with the lawyers before you testify to get straight what they will ask and what you will answer (you never see this part on TV). This was particularly important for the termite expert, as his testimony was vital to the company's case. When I got there, the lawyer I was working with has prepared me to say a bunch of stuff that I didn't think I could say based on the info I had received. She also had completely missed another point that she should be asking me about, to discredit another witness. I actually ended up giving her advice about this, which she followed. She also prepared me for what to expect during cross-examination.

The scary part was the cross-examination, where I knew it was the other lawyer's job to grill me. Before I went in, there were a bunch of actors in the waiting area, enjoying free drinks and snacks (actors love free food!) who were playing the same part. One guy had chosen not to wear a suit jacket, which I pointed out was a mistake because the cross-exam was sure to cause big sweaty pit stains

After cross exam, there is “re-direct”, where your side asks questions to “rehabilitate” anything they might have got you on. I was also then re-cross-examined, and this is where I had the most fun. The opposition lawyer was determined to discredit me by getting me to say something to contradict myself. He asked the same question 2 different ways, and I gave him the same beautiful answer both times, not what he wanted to hear. Finally, he started to get nasty, and started another attempt to ask the same question with “perhaps you don't understand my question...” at which time my lawyer objected. So he said “no more questions” and sat down. To me, that means I won!

Here is the other interesting thing: Reading the facts of the case, it appeared obvious to me that the plaintive's case was bull. I said this to both sets of lawyers I worked with, and one who had been through this before said I was right, but the plaintive usually wins because they are suing an insurance company, and everyone hates insurance companies. Sure enough, it turns out the plaintive won 7 out of the 8 trials. One jury even awarded MORE than the plaintive was asking for!

So, now I know more about termites than most Coloradans, and a bit more about our legal system. My only regret is that I didn't get paid the $2000 per day the termite expert billed the client.

The NHL needs to fix this!

Those of us who love hockey have a love-hate relationship with the NHL. We love the game, but we hate the way the NHL runs it's business. Another example of their stupidity happened this week.

I didn't see the hit, but Sabres Defenceman Nathan Paetsch was given concussion by the elbow of career goon George Laracque. Laracque got a match penalty and a 3 game suspension from the league for the hit.

Here is what is wrong with this, and so many other intentionally dirty plays in the NHL: Paetsch is out indefinitely for being hit illegally, while Laracque will sit only 3 games. Does that seem fair to you? Not to me. Seems to me, if you take out a guy with a dirty hit, you shouldn't play until 3 games AFTER the victim returns to the ice ( If anyone know Todd Bertuzzi, please send him this). I assure you this would put a stop to this type of activity in a hurry. Goons know they can clobber a guy and put him out for the season, or forever in Bertuzzi's case, but their back on the ice in no time. But if a player knew that a dirty hit might end his career as well as his victims, he'd probably think twice (of course, whether Bertuzzi is in fact capable of thinking even once is in question).

That's all for now......I'm about to dash off an email to the NHL offices.

New Castro, same old stuff

I guess Cuba's athletes don't think much change it going to occur under Raul Castro. Seven members of the Cuban Under-23 soccer team, playing in an Olympic qualification tourney in Tampa, defected from the team yesterday. That leaves the Cuban team with only 11 players for the next 2 games, one of whom is suspended for a red card. That's going to make it pretty tough for them.

While we always love these defections because they reinforce the superiority of our way of life, this is not great news for US soccer fans, as he US played Cuba to a tie earlier in the week, but now Cuba is almost certain to lose their last 2 games, making it harder for the US to advance to the next round. All 6 of us American soccer fans are concerned.

Meanwhile, there is no news of new American super models defecting to Cuba.

Why I love Soccer

Sometimes I feel like America's only soccer fan. But at least I didn't miss this goal:


Ronaldinho Goal Againts Atletico Madrid Very Nice!! - The most amazing home videos are here